Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
