my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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