only you would photoshop your dick
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
