I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
