I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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