I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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