I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
