He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
