so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize