so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize