just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
