Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
