whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
