so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
