$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
