I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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