16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
