Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
