Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize