We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
