I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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