New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
