Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
should my penis look like a turkey
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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