a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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