that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
