I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
