i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
