i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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