So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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