There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize