just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
