I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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