Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you inspire me to be a worse person
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
