Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
