My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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