I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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