something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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