Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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