you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
