he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
