She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
did i just pee glitter
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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