If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
