you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
