halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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