Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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