Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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