I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
This toilet bowl is my home.
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