Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
