Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize