um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
