you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
