It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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