Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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