im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
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I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I want her autograph on my taint
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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