Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
