I hate your face
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
